Thanksgiving, 2008
Absolute black granite w/engraved text
60 x 72 x 1 1/4 in.

Saturday, Nov. 28, 1992 Hi Tommy, Here it is at last, “ THE THANKSGIVING DAY LETTER” HA! HA! Here we go ---------------------------------------------------------------------------! ACT 1 Thursday, Thanksgiving day morning about 10AM = Mom = “ Hi Mom. Hi Dad Happy Thanksgiving” Gram = “ You must be kidding = we’re going to Mike’s = I don’t want to go and ( whine, whine ) my son won’t give us a drink” = Mom = “ Oh Mom, you’ll survive” = Gram = “ I doubt it = I hate Jimmy, Paul, Joyce, Joyce’s husband, David, and Nancy = the food will stink and so will they” = End of conversation. Dad = “ Hi Dear – I really am not looking forward to today = We have to go to Mike’s = I hate Nancy, Jimmy, Paul, David, Joyce’s husband and Joyce – I don’t know why she likes me” = End of conversation. ACT 2 Trip to Uncle Mike’s Pick up time for Dreadful Daughter Sue 1:30 P.M. Grandpa comes to the door Gives the ultimate look of death to Bill (While smiling and chatting nicely ) & snatches candied sweet potatoes out of Dreadful Daughter Sue’s hands with a big = AAAH!! As if they will be any good since Gram told him 2 days before “ T- day” that they are tooo sweet tooo thick & tooo mushy = Yuk = more garbage to compliment Nancy’s garbage. Into car = Gram suspects that Dreadful Daughter Sue had a drink (Right on Gram = way to go = Make the holiday wonderful ) Dreadful Daughter Sue did have 1 stiff one brought to her by the Holiday Fairy Louise = What a guy!!! Gram glares through side window of car = won’t look at door because the evil, lazy, weak, drunken, garbage (Bill) is helping Dreadful Daughter Sue out the front door. Sue (poor fool ) gets in the hate wagon positively reeking & gets dirty look from Gram who smells strongly of scotch as does Angel Pie Grandpa. Silence, as we “ peel down” Kirtland road. Conversation begins = Grandpa = “Well I suppose Jimmy & Paul will be there, they must still be on the “sauce” since Mike won’t give us a drink. I wonder where Jimmy is working since he’s not at Mike’s anymore.” = etc, etc. Let’s get to ACT 3 A cut the crap in the car = all disagreeable non-conversation as usual, as Dreadful Daughter Sue snores, pretending not to hear, but not missing 1 hateful word. ACT 3 Arrival at Mike and Nancy Robinson’s house = Grandpa “ God. Where am I going to park?” (There are 2 vehicles in the front – a BIIIG decision) “ That must be Paul’s piece of junk. Where can I park where he won’t hit my car, etc etc. “ Look where stupid Joyce and her husband (no name) parked = it figures.Finally parks car. Husband of Joyce comes out to help carry things in. NOT GOOD ENOUGH YOU IGNORANT HILBILLY WITH LEFT OVER ACNE = Gram’s thinking-you can almost hear it out loud. Gram = “ He doesn’t even speak to me. Notice that = Ha! it figures” and more of the above “out loud” this time. Grandpa = “ Well as usual there’s nobody at the front door. (To Mike, as he comes to the door = Grandpa has only waited long enough to get the above complaint out = reiterates same to Uncle Mike, whom however we must note, doesn’t even bother to flinch any more = into house and kitchen= no speaking to Nancy allowed = death will result = However, Dreadful Daughter Sue greets all gaily & ripely ticks off the old “ Sweet Senior Citizens”. Air gets tense quickly = No booze for Gram = She looks grim & complains with Grandpa for about ½ hr = Mike unlocks garage moat = finds no Harvey’s Bristol Cream sherry & informs Gram of same. Gram = “Those Goddamn Brats. We can’t even get a drink up here because of them.” & expounds somewhere.No one is listening. But you know Mom = I absorb all this interesting stuff. Hordeurves come out = Yuk & Double Yuk from Gram & Grandpa = Chow them down anyway. Call to table to eat various garbage. Uncle Mike apologizes = He massacred turkey trying to get it out of pan = what a mess ( Gram & Grandpa) in unison = end up blaming Nancy = the battle cry = “You cooked it too long” Grandpa “Well, that’s Nancy = she doesn’t give a damn.” Gram = “You’re right Lynn” (By now these 2 are really rolling in sync.) Pitiful Joyce’s husband (still, no name) is roundly criticized by Gram for his crappy fruit salad which she begins to critique. Dreadful Daughter Sue cuts her off with her vicious remark, “Must you critique everything Mom? = At least the kid tried.” Gram retires into total grim silence & remains so throughout dinner, making all extremely uncomfortable. However, Grandpa saves the day = he is taking diet pills again & acts like the friend to man in the house at the side of the road = higher than a kite actually. Critique again on Dreadful Daughter Sue’s sweet potatoes but, with slight reversal = Gram = “Not cooked enough, not sweet enough” (but still too thick – Ah misery!) Gram ends up with hard green lump of sweet potato on plate = got only bad one in the bunch. This very pleasant dinner ends. All leave dinning room save Dreadful Daughter Sue & Gram = Gram “How could you do that to me?” D.D. Sue “What??!!” You made me sit across from Paul and next to Nancy!!!” D.D. Sue = “I did that?” Gram = “Yes you dummy!!” D.D. Sue = “Well, What’s the diff? The table’s oval = You couldn’t miss them no matter where you sat.” Gram = Big sighing, disgusted sound. All retire to living room for pumpkin pie & coffee and truly GREAT conversation. Gram tells son Mike how ugly & repulsive his dog is = Mike doesn’t care = he has finally become immune to the various numerous criticisms of every aspect of his life from his loved ones = the 2 people nearest and dearest to him = Gram & Grandpa. Uncle Mike must be going to my shrink = either that or he’s on tranquilizers. HA!! Whatever = It’s about time. ACT 4 Well, time for the death drive home with Grandpa = Raining but no defrost, no wipers = The usual death trap on wheels. “Goodbye, Great, All so wonderful, & more lies.” = All the usual. Head off = Grandpa can’t see = Goes off drive = Back on = Squinting through 1 square inch of windshield. Conversation = Grandpa “Well we made it = think that’s the last time” Gram to lover “Oh Lynn you’ll want to go again next year like you always do = Grandpa = “Where do you think Jimmy was = sure am glad Paul left early = Boy, the food was even worse than usual = Dried out turkey, that lousy Hubbard squash = I wouldn’t touch the dressing as usual = No green vegetable” Gram “Yeah – All that & nothing to drink & that stupid husband of Joyce’s.” Well of course, more of the same. = Speed limit is 50 = Grandpa is doing 35MPH = Still can’t see through window = Saying whole trip home he can’t see = Well, of course nobody else can either cause no defroster on, ETC. EPILOGUE D.D. Sue arrives home alive. Greets Dreadful, Stupid, Weak, Ugly, Lazy, Drunken, Garbage husband. But phone rings = “Yeah Yeah “ It’s Grandpa = Wow = Goodie Goodie = Must discuss Big Question on = You’ve got it = “JEOPARDY” Really checking to see if D.D. Sue ( elapsed time: 10 minutes ) is drunk yet = HA HA Dad = You lose again = But, Christmas is another day. Hope springs eternal in a father’s breast! Well son, that was our Thanksgiving. I could write a whole book like this & probably make a fortune. I would call it “ The loved ones”. They say everybody has one good book in them. = Gram & Grandpa make for juicy material!! And how was your Thanksgiving? = Did you choke on your food? My teeth the next day felt like they were ground down to the gum line and that dry rot had set in.= No, that’s the rest of my body. HA! HA! I know = at least I hope = that I am croaking but not until you get what you want to get so I can enjoy it too. I really look forward to your calls and am looking forward to seeing you soon. I won’t have to write you an X-mas play because you be here to enjoy it all first hand with your good old fat, evil mom. I love you dear and always will. = Be happy and carefree forever = Do it your way and tell the rest to shut up. Love Always, Your mom and “ The Girls”